Most of us men never really know what's going on inside a woman's mind. How about you? Well, today, you're going to find out...
James Bradley has been teaching fegular guys like us how to attract their ideal women for over twelve years.
Here's a link to his website.
Recently, James had the opportunity to interview Sarah, a model from San Diego to discover what what she looks for in guys, what's the one thing a guy could say to her to get her attention, and what advice she'd give guys who want to know her better.
Though Sarah models part-time, James discovered her real dream is to become an interior designer and have a boyfriend who's just as ambitious. Sarah also has a surprising reason why she'd prefer not to meet a guy in a bar or online. Read on for more information!
James: Describe yourself. What do you do for a living? What kinds of things do you like to do to relax?
Sarah: I'm studying interior design parttime, and waitressing and modeling to pay the bills. To relax, I hang out with friends, go shopping, you know, the regular stuff.
James: Are you single or seeing anyone?
Sarah: I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago, so, yeah.... It's really weird being single again. The worst thing is getting hit on all the time. I mean, I'm a waitress, so I'm used to it, but I used to be able to go out with my boyfriend and have a good time without getting bothered by other guys. Now when I go out, it's like ... yuck. Get away from me.
James: What mistakes are these guys making?
Sarah: Just being too obvious about it, I guess. If I'm out with my friends, I kind of want to hang out with my friends. If a guy comes up to us, we know that he wants to hit on at least one of us. Otherwise, why would he come up?
James: So you would never give a guy who came up to you a chance?
Sarah: I'm not saying that. Obviously, if he's really cute, I'd at least say hello. I guess I'd rather just meet a guy in a normal place, like through friends or something. Like, I imagine that someday we're going to get married and everyone's going to be asking us how we met. I don't want to say we met in a bar!
James: So you'd rather you had a better story to tell.
Sarah: Exactly. Like, you know, our eyes met across a crowded room or something.
James: What about online dating?
Sarah: That would be worse! Could you imagine saying, "We met online"? I know it's more socially accepted these days, but I would personally feel uncomfortable admitting to anyone that I had my profile on a website. And a picture of me - definitely not. People pay to take pictures of me, so I'm not just going to be giving them away.
James: How did you meet your last boyfriend?
Sarah: Waitressing, actually. He and his friends used to come in every night at eleven o'clock and order breakfast. It was really weird. They always sat in the same place, so I got to know them pretty well.
James: Why did you break up? If you're okay about it...
Sarah: Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I felt like he wasn't really supporting me. Like, he'd make fun of what I wanted to do. He didn't think I'd ever get a job in interior design and that I was basically wasting my time. You should always support your boyfriend or girlfriend in what they want to do. He wanted me to basically be modeling full-time, but he has no idea what it's like.
James: Did you feel like he was just dating you for your looks?
Sarah: Sometimes. He used to refer to me as "my girlfriend the model." I guess "my girlfriend the designer" didn't sound as good to him.
James: What are you looking for in a guy now?
Sarah: Someone who's funny and really interesting and romantic. My ex used to invite me over and then spend all of his time on the computer. I'm like, "I don't care about your computer. Let's do something." I see this with all my friends' boyfriends. They're more interested in getting pizza and a movie on Saturday night than doing something fun. They're like, "It will cost money." So what?
James: So you want someone who isn't boring.
Sarah: Yeah, for sure. Someone who actually has a life. That's the great thing with being at school because you're surrounded by people who have these goals. They're working to get somewhere. Compared with my ex-boyfriend and his friends, who just wanted to hang out and have enough money to spend on beer and their cars.
James: What would show you that a guy had a life?
Sarah: He'd be doing cool things. Like, I don't know, going to different places and have all these different people he knows. That's really attractive: when everyone knows your guy. I dated a guy once who was nicknamed the "Mayor" because everyone knew him. We'd go into, like, a grocery store, and people would be stopping him and saying, "What'sup?" That was great.
Other things, I guess, would be that he was earning good money, because if you don't have a life, you don't have money. I don't feel like I'm there yet, but once I'm an interior designer, I'll have enough money for my own apartment and really awesome shoes.
Yeah, just doing more than sitting around with his buddies.
James: If a guy stopped you on the street right now, what's the one thing he could say to you to make you want to be
with him?
Sarah: "You're hot, I want you"? Probably not. Not unless the guy was really good-looking. Usually, if a guy stopped me on the street, I'd either think that he needed help or that something was wrong with him, like he wanted money or something. Asking for directions is always good. Especially if it's somewhere close, like I could walk him there.
James: How long does it take for you to decide if you want to get to know someone further?
Sarah: Usually almost instantly. Sometimes my first impression is wrong, but it's more in terms of, "You're nice to talk to," rather than, "Oh my god, you're so hot." You can tell if a guy has a lot going for him right off the bat. Just stuff like the way he walks, you know, how he smiles, whether he works out.... What really annoys me are the guys who want to meet you, like, they'll think up some clever line like I'm supposed to give them a treat just for coming up to me. No clue that I'm a real person. Sometimes they'll even talk to my clothes, like I'm not even there. I'm saying "clothes," but you know what I mean. Come on, get a grip!
James: What tips would you give guys who want to get to know you better?
Sarah: Just treat me like a real person. Respect what I want to do. Don't try to get me into bed. Have a life of your own that's actually interesting. There's more to life than computers and music and cars, you know? Oh, and even girls. Yeah, there's more to life than girls. Once you get that, then come back to me.
*** Top 5 Tips to Remember ***
1. If you're dating a woman who makes money off her looks, you need to show her that you "get" her life better than she does. Women in high-profile industries, like modeling or acting, often feel like nobody understands what their life is like or how hard it is to be them. You do. Just check out Style's interview of Britney Spears in The Game. Once you show her that you not only "get" her but can even "read" her mind and tell her what she's feeling, she'll be putty in your hands.
Never give her the impression that what she does is unusual, high status, or affects you in any way. You're not dating her because she's a model or because she's an actress; you're dating her because she's interesting and she amuses you.
2. Become a regular. Not only does being a regular at a particular bar/coffee shop/cafe/restaurant automatically give you higher status, because the waitstaff will recognize you and give you preferential treatment, but it's a perfect opportunity to network. Especially in L.A., there are a lot of aspiring actresses/musicians/whatever who are putting in their time waiting tables until they make it big. Make their life easier by being the regular they look forward to seeing again.
3. Know people. People who are known by a lot of people are automatically considered higher status. It's just like the most popular guy in school - he was popular because everyone knew who he was or wanted to know him. Make the effort to get to know people, no matter how insignificant they might be. Remember their name and a few details about them, enough to ask about their kids or their job or the trip they just went on.
4. Be learning at least one new skill at all times. As much fun as surfing the net and playing Playstation are, they don't exactly scream "high-status male." Expand your interests and pick up at least one unique hobby. Learn the guitar. Try snowboarding. Up your snob factor with a class in wine appreciation, cooking, or even ballroom dancing. The idea isn't to brag about your interests; it's to expand your knowledge so that when you get invited to the slopes,
order wine at a restaurant, or have to attend a black-tie event, you actually know what to do.
5. Give a girl something to talk about to her friends. As much as it may seem like a waste of time to think up creative dates or unusual ways to introduce yourself to a girl, choose something memorable over something practical every time. Women will think about things like how they're going to tell your children you met, even if you barely know one another. Give her experiences that she can relate to her friends, and, even if you end up breaking up, all her friends
will want to date you.
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I hope you enjoyed reading the above article by James Bradley. James has also developed a comprehensive system for training guys to be irresistible to women.
I strongly recommend you go and get yourself a copy right here.
